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The last couple of weeks before I left the country went in a giant blur. I spent a lot of time with friends, including getting to reconnect with some amazing old ones. I can’t even begin to describe how wonderful the last few weeks were, but of course I’m going to try anyway.

A week before I left for Germany, I had to make a last trip back up to Arkansas to finish up all of the “fun adult responsibilities”. I dragged a friend along for the ride and we got to experience some of my favorite local food establishments (you can’t go wrong with mexican, hawaiian, and greek food- ever). Of course you can’t get the full Fayetteville experience without a little trip down Dickson St, so Friday night was all about friends and a few drinks. I’m so thankful for the people that came out that weekend- they made a trip I was dreading into one full of laughter and good memories.

Confession time: I’ve kinda turned into a video game nerd. Not just any video game, but Diablo 3. I don’t know what it is, but going on huge demon-killing sprees is one of the best stress relievers I’ve ever found. Luckily, a few of my Tyler friends are even bigger nerds than me, so I’m fairly certain we spent more hours playing that game than I’d ever care to admit. We’ve always been like a giant family, so we made fun of each other (in the most loving way possible, of course), gave each other advice, and really just listened when somebody needed to talk. If I were ever to have a group of guy friends that I could call “my boys”, these three would be it. Combined, they know all the bad and annoying things about me and love me anyway. What else could a girl want? The night before I left, they had a little going away party for me. That final goodbye was the most perfect thing I could have asked for, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

As my time in the states started to come to a close, the nerves started to hit. Questions of if the family would like me, if I would learn the language without much difficulty, and if I would make it a year just kept running over and over in my head. By Thursday (leaving day), I was running on almost no sleep and an entire body full of caffeine. My parents and I left for Dallas in the late afternoon and I was in the airport by 6pm. I spent the next two hours calling many of my friends in order to get one last goodbye in.

If I find some more time to write soon, be expecting to hear about my plane trip and the weekend of exploration that followed.

So far, I’ve only updated on one facet of my life. I’ve finally been able to close the chapter on all of that as of this past Friday, and the relief has almost been palpable. While my updates on that front weren’t the cheeriest, some of the other changes are quite exciting. One in particular, and today is the day that I finally get to share it! So…

I’M MOVING TO GERMANY!

I really do hope you were able to picture me jumping up and down with excitement, because that is 100% how I feel at the moment. Why Germany? What am I going to be doing over there? I’m getting to that.

I started researching au pair/long-term nanny jobs a few months ago. I signed up on a couple different job search websites specifically tailored to those types of job listings and within two weeks had applications from SIXTY different families in Germany, France, Italy, Ireland, and the UK. After researching different laws and regulations for au pairs in those different countries, I decided to go with a German family. Further narrowing down led me to this darling family right outside of Frankfurt, and we eventually got contracts signed.

This Thursday, January 23, 2014, I will be boarding a plane that will take me to Frankfurt for one year. After the year is up, I’ll be on the hunt for another family in another country. I just feel completely blessed to have an opportunity like this, and the timing simply could not be better. My responsibilities while I’m over there will basically just to act as a big sister to the family and watch the two children. In my off time, I’ll be taking German classes and hopefully getting to travel across Europe.

This is one of the huge reasons for the change in websites and complete rebranding. I really feel like my life is finally taking off, and I’m hoping these new adventures in my life will be reflected in this blog.

Christmas was incredibly hard this year (or last year if you want to be technical)

I had mentally prepared myself for the feelings of loneliness, or I thought I had. I knew I was going to be mopey, so I just wanted to stay home and out of everyone’s way. Nobody wants to be about a debbie downer on Christmas. That plan didn’t quite work out, so I was off to spend the holidays with family. Overall, it was a lovely time, but in those quiet moments, I just felt so alone.

I bounce between wanting to surround myself with people just to keep my mind occupied and wanting to be by myself and wallow in self pity for just a few minutes. You know, the whole “crying in the shower to get all the emotions out real quick” move…works like a charm. Most of the time, I am fine because I know that the decisions I’ve made, no matter how hard they’ve been, were the correct decisions in the long run. There is no doubt about that, but it doesn’t make the loss hurt any less.

Ending a 5-year relationship is going to be hard no matter what, but having everything end right before the holiday season is incredibly tough. I just had to keep telling myself that I’m doing the right thing, I’ll get through it, and I’ll be stronger. That’s all you can hope for, right? To battle your way through the sorrow and make it out on the other side with new strength and confidence? That’s what I’ll be working on from now until who knows when, but it’ll be worth it.

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The one goal I’ve had for the new year is to get organized. Not just paper-organized, but life-organized. My life has somewhat just spiraled out of control, and now is the time to get everything balanced and manageable again. At least, that’s what we always assume about a new year.

In an effort to not be so overwhelmed, I’m planning on cutting my blogging back to three times a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, you can expect to find some new content on here. Thursdays will hopefully turn into vlogsday over on my youtube channel if I can get filming under control, so that should be something fun to try out.

Starting on Monday, I’ll be getting into the nitty gritty of the past few months. I’ve been so incredibly blessed to have some friends along for the crazy ride that my life has taken, but just getting my words out should be a wonderful release of stress and confusion. I’m still completely in recovery mode, but everything will turn out great. I just know it

If you’re reading this, I’d love to hear how the end of 2013 went and what you’re expecting for 2014. I’ve truly missed the blogging community and can’t wait to catch up on all the fun things that I know have been going on!